tomorrow a new point of view…

four months

January 11, 2012 at 11:40 am | Posted in baby diz, hazel's month day | 2 Comments
Tags: 5k course, bittersweet time, first thanksgiving, many different things, pouring rain, thanksgiving morning

4 months already?
wow. time is truly flying by! going back to work has really been a bittersweet time for us. we are adjusting to life, and are finding some sort of rhythm to it. i am enjoying a little time away each day, but i have been fortunate to have holiday breaks over the last 2 months. january through march may be a different story.

hazel has been growing, learning and experiencing many different things this month. she also has been eating.

like a lot.

but, i guess babies do that.

we have had to experiment with her daily feedings while i am away ~~pumping~~ at work. she has been exclusively breastfed so far, so it has been hard to gauge how much she really is getting during mealtime. we had been giving her bottles, but never for 8 hour stretches. so we learned very quickly: she kinda eats a lot. unfortunately, i am unable to produce what she drinks during the day, so our “stockpile” has quickly depleted. so, around our house, i am known as the milk nazi. no drop shall be wasted.

it’s very stressful.

but, thanks to winter break, i was able to store at little more milk…so we should be good.

i hope.

H will start solids soon, so i think that should help curb her hunger more.

**fingers crossed**

we spent our first thanksgiving together running Sacramento’s annual run to feed the hungry on thanksgiving morning. and it was pouring rain.

and we still went.

because of the rain, we decided to start the race early with the 10k runners, and then just cut over to the 5k course. which would have been nice if the 5k course was marked. which it wasn’t. which means we ended up running the 10k. which would have been fine if hazel would have stayed sleeping. which she didn’t. and she was super mad. so now we were the parents who brought their infant out in the rain, who is now SCREAMING along the race route.

yup. that was us. a proud, proud, moment that is for sure.

it would have been better to show you an after picture…but no one needs to see that.

a week later was the california international marathon. which for some reason we signed up to do. as a relay team of course. however, deciding to train for a half marathon was not my brightest moment. it was probably the worst training of my life, and the run showed it. but, i am learning that things are different now and i am learning to be ok with that.

or so i keep telling myself.

hazel is learning to laugh big laughs which i find hilarious. she doesn’t do it too often, which means she has a selective sense of humor like her mother. she also is making the funniest of faces, all in short windows of each other. she gives a pretty mean disgusted look. also like her mother.

you’re welcome.

this is her introduction to Hedwig for the first time. it went well.

we borrowed a exersaucer from church. which she wasn’t sure about at first, but now she really has learned to love it. it is an eyesore if i ever saw one, but if i can get in a shower or a pee break? done.

you can see more excitement here, along with this super ~~weird~~ funny thing she has been doing with her lips.

i want to try an avoid a lot of christmas talk, since that technically is her fifth month, but they kind of overlap a little so i have decided to give you a little sneak peek of our christmas season.

we went to our favorite local(ish) christmas tree farm to fetch a tree. unfortunately the christmas sweater did not make an appearance this year.

it didn’t fit.

but, we will save that (sad,sad) story for another time.

we stopped at our favorite little mexican restaurant to have a bowl of chicken tortilla soup. yummy.

we scoured the hills of rappeti farms for the perfect tree. i think we found it in under an hour.

world record.

jasen’s family came in town to celebrate christmas with us at the beginning of december. we made a big shopping trip to the mall and hazel also sat in her high chair for the very first time.

such a big girl! i smashed up a little piece of banana, but she didn’t really eat it.

we have been dealing with this “gray” area when it comes to sleeping. hazel often falls asleep when we are in the car, and we never know if we should take her out of her car seat, or just leave her there. usually we just leave her there. she seems fine, no?

we have had a hard time transitioning into the crib. i never in a million years thought it would be this hard. but, after i came home from work one day and the babysitter told me she had held her for 3 hours while she napped, i knew we needed to try working the crib into our daily routine. we really aren’t a big advocate for “crying it out”. it doesn’t work for us. but, i decided to try it once for nap time.

heartbreaking. and yes, that is a real tear. the first one i have ever seen. i set my timer for 20 minutes. i walked in and a few times and tried to be strong.

nope. not for me. we’ll try again later.

this mom business is no joke.

but, on to happier times.

while i was on break, jasen and i took hazel to see santa. we went back and forth about it. should we? shouldn’t we? so, we decided to do it. and i am glad we did. even though santa lived in a fairy butterfly house at arden mall. not sure what that was about.

we even went to loehmann’s so we could all get in on the fun.

i can’t believe how fast she is growing. our lives have changed in such a big way. we are enjoying this journey. hard, for sure, but so rewarding.

here are a few favorite pictures i just couldn’t leave out this month:

Merry Christmas 2011

December 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm | Posted in ashdizzles, where life takes us | Leave a comment

It truly has been a life changing year for the Ashdowns. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2012.

{photo taken by h and co photography}

three months

December 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm | Posted in uncategorized | 2 Comments

mommy went back to work this month.

can’t you tell?

please forgive the delay as i wipe the sleep from my eyes and try to remember where i parked my car.

hum, let me try to think of all the wonderful things hazel has done this month.

well, most exciting, ethan matthew was born! it is so exciting to have a cousin! i can already tell they are going to get themselves into a lot of fun. (notice i didn’t say trouble? the power of positive thinking.)

my dad was able to come up and see both grandbabies.
is he excited or what?

i started training for a half marathon. we spent extended periods in the jogging stroller.

but, before you pat me on the back, let me tell you that i spent most of my time walking. but, there were sweet moments in that as well.

much to everyone’s surprise, i didn’t get hazel dressed up for halloween. i just made her a little outfit.

i only captured one picture of our house. on my phone, no less.

we had our annual pumpkin carving party, and out of pure desperation, we threw together a family of hipster costumes.

here are hazel’s thoughts on the matter:

my brother captured some adorable pictures of hazel:

i purposely think she held out on her last baby trick until right before i went back to work. it’s like she wanted to make sure i saw (and thankfully captured) it.

she also found something. whenever i need a good laugh, i watch this video.

there are just too many cute pictures of her to leave out, so i tried my best to only pick a few (thousand).

she has been watching every drop or bite we consume. it should be time for big girl food soon.

two months

October 31, 2011 at 10:24 am | Posted in ashdizzles, baby diz, funny videos, hazel's month day | 1 Comment

it’s been an exciting month and hazel has had a lot of adventures.

she has learned some new baby tricks.

like rolling over:

and singing:

she also survived her first 6+ hour car ride to southern california.

she looks pretty happy, no?

we went to the rainbow sandal’s outlet.

hazel saw the ocean for the first time.

(i know what you are thinking. we should quit our jobs and become videographers. we are considering it.)

and of course we went to sprinkle’s cupcakes.
wait…can i pause a moment to tell you how amazing their german chocolate cupcake is?
like, for realz.

mmmmm…yum.

oh, yeah. hazel.

jasen and H are blocking the view, but let me tell you something. they.were.delicious.

that’s right. i said THEY. yum yum yum. (i’m talking about the cupcakes. H and J are ok themselves.)

moving right along…

last but not least…we went to disneyland!

watch her excitement as we entered the front gates:

she got her own “first time” badge:

went on her first ride (the little mermaid):

(mommy says it was, “eh”.)

then of course, the toy story ride. (daddy won, of course.)

she witnessed her first parade. she is excited. are you ready? it’s halloweeeeeeeeeen.

and on top of all that excitement?
why, it’s pumpkin season of course!

month 3 is already shaping up to be just as exciting. baby girl is growing up too fast!

welcome, ethan matthew.

October 25, 2011 at 10:26 am | Posted in family | 3 Comments

a friend put it kindly yesterday,

“wow! your family has had an exciting 6 months.”

and i say,

i know! and i am exhausted.

but content, happy and totally in love.

yesterday morning, at 8:44, we welcomed a beautiful nephew into the world.

{image borrowed from my brother’s instagram}

ethan matthew shilling.

we arrived at the hospital to a total surprise. ethan was supposed to be a hadley. that’s right, my brother and allie were expecting a girl! we can talk face to face with a person in Zimbabwe on our 6 inch phone, but technology can’t accurately predict a baby’s gender.

but, it was a wonderful surprise, and we are so lucky to have him in our lives.

congratulations, matt an allie!

hazel says,”he’s purrty cool.”

I’m bringing running back.

October 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm | Posted in making a change, nike+, running | 4 Comments

Feel free to sing along. Because bringing the running back will hopefully resurrect some sexy back (legs, abs, and arms) as well.

On a side note, remember when Justin Timberlake made music? Those were good times.

Monday, October 10th, will be the first day of 8 weeks that I will begin training for the California International Marathon. Which, incidentally, is one year to the day that I ran the Chicago Marathon. Jasen, Jackie and I will be tackling 26.2 miles as a relay team. Jasen and Jackie are splitting the first half (which is more difficult in my opinion), and I will finish with the last 2 legs equalling a half marathon.

I do wonder if I am asking too much of myself. On race day, i will just be shy of four months postpartum. I don’t say this for compliments or praise, i say this out loud to ask myself, “am I really doing this?” the last 4 weeks have resulted in some disappointing runs. I run, but mostly walk. Granted, I am pushing a stroller apparatus, which is new to me. But still, it is very slow going. I keep telling myself that my body just went through the most traumatic experience of it’s life, and to give myself a break.

But, it doesn’t work that way with me. I am adjusting to the “belly bulge” and weight gain. However, I am still having to run with my pregnancy skirt since my shorts are still snug. Which is fine. I love that skirt. Like almost in an unhealthy way.

I am using the same adapted schedule I used when I trained for the half during my pregnancy. Next Saturday I’ll be ~~mostly walking~~ running 6 miles. It’s been months since I’ve done it.

It’s possible, right? All hope in a comeback isn’t totally lost. I plan to take it slow and enjoy the process. I may even benefit from pushing the big BOB around. I’m so happy to have a bottle holder. I hate carrying water. It’s way inconvenient. Plus, I will get the added benefit of looking at this adorable face:

I’ll let you know how it goes.

stupid baby hair bows

September 26, 2011 at 7:35 am | Posted in baby diz, what the weird | 2 Comments

please forgive me if i offend you. i am not calling your baby stupid. or even your taste for that matter. i also want to have the right to have Hazel maybe, possibly ~~but most likely not~~ wear a hair bow someday.

hear’s my dilemma.

i have a bald baby girl. well, she’s not completly bald. she has some business in the back. but, that is a post for another time.

and this baby girl looks terrible in pink. ~~hooray~~.

so, she wears a lot of neutrals, like white and brown.

and since she doesn’t wear pink or stupid baby hair bows, people think she is a him.

“how old is he?” they ask.

“SHE is 2 months.”

then, flustered, they make some stupid comment that they couldn’t tell because she was wearing white.

REALLY? because she was wearing white?!

so Hazel has 2 choices. she can go through her baby life mistaken for a boy or look like a expensively wrapped present threw up on her head.

image from {posh little tutus}

sharing our story

September 22, 2011 at 10:19 am | Posted in ashdizzles, baby diz, blogging | Leave a comment

today our story was featured on the lovely spearmint baby blog!

check it out!

share your birth story.

initial issues :: smells like bacon

September 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm | Posted in ashdizzles, baby diz | Leave a comment

and i am not talking about timing people.

jasen and i worked hazel’s initals up and down, left and right, backwards, forwards and upside down. we wrote them on our hallway chalkboard wall, so that we would walk by them several dozen times before we truly had to commit to the name.

i mean, we really thought about it.

then, while placing an order for our monogramed christmas stockings, i realized a slight oversight.

you know how monograms go, right?

first initial. last name. middle initial.

you know what hazel’s monogramed initials are?

H.A.M.

welcome to the non-kosher household.

she’ll have a sense of humor about it, right?

{images taken by H & Co. Photographers and Wedding Films}

(almost) 2 months in…my baby “stuff” review.

September 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm | Posted in baby diz | 1 Comment

first, i need to address the overwhelming response about losing. i want to thank everyone for the support through comments, messages, emails, texts and the like. weight is a very passionate subject for women. no doubt. i truly have the most incredible support system around me who make me feel like a million bucks. however…i do need to further explain myself on a few things:

1. i honestly do not care what i weigh. i don’t. i made a deal with myself a long time ago that a number can not dictate how i feel about myself. with all the weightlifting and running i do, sometimes the number just doesn’t match the effort. so i am not focused on getting back to that pre-pregnancy number. it’s the truth. i know, with the effort, it will come in time.
2. the biggest problem i am facing is that i have no clothes that fit. none. zip. zero. that is my struggle. i literally wear the same skirt mixed with different maternity shirts, and if i am feeling fancy, maybe i will throw on a pair of maternity jeans. i went shopping for the first time on saturday, and after an hour trying on clothes, i ended up with a shirt.

it’s a start i guess.

3. i forget every struggle when holding my baby. and i remember, it was all worth it.

whew, that’s enough of that.

now that we are almost 2 months in (8 weeks yesterday!), i have a new list of “stuff” i have come to love. here it is, in no particular order:

1. the BOB revolution stoller

i didn’t think i would be able to use this until Hazel grew a little bigger, but i realized i would never get to run when i wanted. it was difficult to sync jasen’s schedule with mine, so i bit the bullet, and with my groupon plus a credit at goores, i decided to splurge and buy the infant seat adapter.

worth it.

see how happy she is after our first ride/run together?

2. my breast friend.

it’s a no joke nursing pillow. i first heard about it on “bethany ever after”, and it’s true, i try to copy parenting tips from a real house wife of whatever city. (while you shake your head in disgust, please know this was also recommended by kaiser.)

i truly love this pillow. i feel lost without it. so what if there is baby spit-up and soy sauce stains on the cover?

it has been loved by the both of us.

3. the puj tub.

i know what you are thinking, who would spend $40 on an infant tub? i would, for the convenience of storage and simplicity and the fact that Hazel LOVES IT! when we are done, i just hang it on the back of the door, out of the way. plus, i used a gift card for it, so i most likely used your money.