tomorrow a new point of view…

how cute…we match…

HIS

HERS

here are some of our favorite pics taken by the fabulously talented nikki…keep up with the wedding crazies…

here are some of our favorite pics taken by the fabulously talented nikki…

so today marked 3 more weeks until the big day…

wow…

it seems like nothing is ready. but true to form…it will all come together.

jasen and i are apart again. it does make things difficult most times. but i know its for the best. because we have the rest of our lives together…soon enough.

but it doesn’t make the weeks go by faster.

yesterday i was spoiled rotten at a shower i had thrown for me. it was so beautiful…and perfect. it was nice to see all the friendly faces in yorba linda again. those girls know how to party…

much thanks…

.

here is a beautiful picture of a bridesmaid who will not be with us…

as you can see…she’s has a previous commitment.

we will miss you!

it’s amazing. i love it.

i just went through 100 million pics for our reception slide show…

ok 99 million. close enough.

i realized i didn’t take one picture this summer. maybe cause i don’t want to remember it. or relive it.

i have gone to the doctor alot this summer…and realized i have some major problems. mostly ones i can’t help or control…but nonetheless problems still.

on monday…i am going to have a spec scan done on my brian at the amen clinic in newport beach. maybe this is where we will get the answers we need to move on from the place of life…this dark…dark place. but there is hope. i know there is. but sometimes it is hard to get up…or hard to settle down. i wish i could be normal too…normal like everyone else and smile and enjoy my life. but i don’t most days…and that is sad. and i hate it.

being sad blows.

i think back on how this could have all turned out…so different…maybe worse. but god allowed keith and gina page to shed a glimpse of hope in my life…and jesus. i can not use the right words. i can not speak the right sentences. but i saw jesus in them…and that has never happened to me quite like that.

so to answer your questions…i don’t know why i cry. i don’t know why i feel anxious. i don’t know why i don’t enjoy planning my wedding.

i know that i have a hope and hopefully soon some answers. so there is good news.

i am sorry if i hurt your feelings…or seem distant. or didn’t call you back. i don’t know who i am most days. and i don’t know how i will be in a hour…or ten minutes…

but i can’t wait to take those pictures…or have conversations…or do 2 things at once again.

hopefully all of you will be waiting for me there too.

i miss all of you.

well we have been approved for our first apartment together…

IN HOUSTON!

here is a sneaky peak of our new home…

Gables Pin Oak

we are working so very hard and diligently on our invitations…we should have them out by wednesday…(keep your fingers crossed) we can not wait for you all (not ya’ll) to see them! we are very proud.

hopefully we will be able to keep you better updated on the new haps as time approaches so very quickly!

6 weeks and counting!