tomorrow a new point of view…

are you tired of people who always complain? i am. i hope i am not one of those people. but when you are going through more “stressful” times…it is hard to always keep a smile on your face.

you know what i mean?

it’s 11:05 pm on a school night and i am not even home yet. i have been home but now i am in jasen’s office waiting for him to finish practicing. why you ask?

I had a 12+ hour work day today. a regular school day + back to school night. not a problem…it is part of the job and i enjoy meeting all the parents. the problem is…i drive home to find the new restaurant that opened below us has just transformed into a night club. a night club with a live band. boom. boom. boom. screeching vocal. screeching vocal. it is pretty bad when our neighbor gets his system pumping (like last night) but it is really bad when your floor, walls and windows are vibrating. boom. boom. boom. screeching vocal. screeching vocal.

i think i am at the beginning stages of mental breakdown number 2. i feel it coming.

i have so much to be thankful for. why can’t i remember that? why is it so easy to pour on the why mes? that is annoying. i am annoying.

we found out today from the city of sacramento that the process of making the split of the property legal is a two stage process. with each stage taking up to 2 months. and since the city is in charge…it could take more.

so jasen and i are going back and forth. the people jasen talks too…are basically talking him out of this house. all the people i talk to says it is worth it. lori (our realtor) knows us pretty well and knows the sacrameto area even better. she is really positive but forthright and i feel has our best interest at heart. it’s really comforting to know that. she is working hard to get the best deal for us. we just need to decide what we want to do. our options:

a. rent the house for 4 months (at a really reduced rate) then buy it.

b. walk away from the house completely and start all over. (meanwhile…find a VERY temporary place to live.)

c. rent the house then bail if we find something better.

d. forget buying a house and rent again…like this place i found online:

i do feel so fortunate to have so many options. i really don’t think any of them are bad. this just did not turn out the way i planned it. but maybe my plans were no good. and god really does have something better. who would have thought.

thank you all for your constant prayers, support and advice. it means a lot to the both of us.

we signed all our papers to buy our house last week. LAST WEEK! however…we kept getting the run around about our keys. come to find out…the property line on our house was split illegally. the seller filed out all this paperwork to split the property, but then somehow missed a step which was found by our title company.

we found out yesterday that this “small” step could take up to 60 DAYS to be completed. as of today…we have 13 days to move out of our apartment. if you do the math…you come up with what i did:

13-60=homeless.

however the good people at my school stepped up into action and within 5 minutes…had a place for us to stay until needed. its pretty amazing.

another option we are exploring is that we will rent our house from the seller until the paperwork is finalized. in the mean time…we will have to apply for a NEW loan…and start the process again. and the seller could decide to bail. it’s possible.

i feel so sad. so tired. so frustrated. i have been walking around with those strong anxious feelings that make you feel like you are going to throw up. everyone has been kind to offer support. but i don’t think i wanna hear, “it will all work out the was it’s supposed to” again. i know it. but it’s not what you wanna hear…even if you already know its true.