tomorrow a new point of view…

losing

September 12, 2011 at 2:35 am | Posted in fight the fat | 7 Comments

when talking about winning these days seems to be the ticket, I can’t help but wish for losing.

fat that is.

as I am quasi-awake at 2:30 am feeding my baby, I decide to check my email. included in it is a series of pictures of me at a friend’s party on Saturday night.

all I can say is wow.

wow.

weight is a difficult reality. yes, I had a baby 7 weeks ago. but, it’s still challenging to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself, go into your closet and have nothing fit right, and have people tell you “how great you look” and be left wondering if they are lying to you.

yes, they’re lying to you.

this weekend I was pulling things out of my closet realizing there are things in there which will never fit again.

never again.

on Friday before the party, I went to go look for something to wear for our anniversary dinner. you know what I ended up with? a maternity dress. then, I wore it again on Saturday night.

a maternity dress. 7 weeks postpartum. actually, I wear maternity clothes everyday. because that’s what fits. I have known better than to try on my jeans. I pull on shirts, thinking that’s a safe bet, and I can’t get it over my giant melons.

it’s quite sad really.

did i mention that I don’t have anything that fits? and the last thing I want to do is go shopping. then there is school picture day this week.

hooray.

no one really tells you about how to prepare yourself for the gumby-type body aftermath. yes, I knew weight gain was inevitable, I even welcomed it, but I wasn’t fully aware of what I would feel like. “if you breastfeed, the weight will just fall off” people say.

who are these people? where do they live? is their body providing magical milk? where can I get some?

it doesn’t help that I had just run a marathon before getting pregnant. and it also doesn’t help me to hear that you left the hospital in your skinny jeans, ten pounds lighter then when you came into the hospital.

unless you would like a swift kick to your baby maker. then you will be wishing you had some extra padding like me.

I don’t want it to be one of those posts about a girl complaining about her weight. (too late, right?) but this is my reality. I can embrace the fact that it took 9 months to put on the weight, it will take just as long, if not longer, to get rid of it. they worn you about no dieting or aggressive workouts in fear you will lose your milk supply. and I don’t think 5 minutes of skinny time is worth not being able to provide food for my baby.

so in the meantime. keep your cameras away from me. and pass the cake.

(I was going to show you the picture which sparked my annoying girl rant, but it’s gone. gone to a trash can far, far, far away. so, I will leave you with skinner times. 10.10.10. and a picture of my adorable baby who makes being a fatty mommy all worth it.)